School

Tomorrow Ryan (my stepson) will start Head Start. Head Start is a school for 3 and 4 year olds. It's pretty cool we have him for his first day of school, picture time!!! It will be a relief on my pocket because no more daycare costs. But it should be a happy time. But in my heart it's not. Annabella will never be able to go to Head Start or a daycare, there won't be first day of school pictures, or new backpacks. I won't be the mother on the registration, I won't be the mommy on the cards or the pictures from school.  I thought being married would have made me more like a mother figure. But really all I am is a paycheck. I go to work to get a paycheck, so we can survive. There is no Pam stays home and watches a kid all day. For once in my life, I would love to be a stay at home mommy. To be able to put my name on a paper and legally be the mother. Oh I pray for my rainbow baby.